Torn

There’s a glimmer of hope in me
that refuses to accept the fact
that we could never be one.
There’s a star in the night sky
flickering when I think of you,
as if to say giving up
would be the worst decision I could ever make.
The fighting spirit in me
tells me you can still love me…someday.
When I reflect on these recent years,
I can’t help but remember the times I spent
wishing you were in my arms,
the times I sat right next to you,
feeling nothing but an ethereal presence,
knowing the world didn’t matter
when I stared into your eyes,
the times I couldn’t look at you
because you are too amazing to look away from.
I’m sorry for letting this get out of hand,
that’s just the way I am.
Sometimes I would rather run away
from everything, from the pain
of never being able to hold you,
than to accept the relentless barrage
of knives aimed at my heart,
thrown to pierce that which beats only for you.
Sometimes I have no choice
but to run back to the arms that won’t open for me,
to relive the three seconds of my life
when loving you wasn’t hopeless,
to teach myself the reason
my heart continues on a collision course with heartbreak
for the millionth time,
to remember that hopeless romance
is my blood, my soul, my mind.
Maybe it was something I did
or something in me,
but you never gave us a chance,
and it will be the weight that holds me down,
the resistance that keeps me from loving another,
my most dire consequence of loving
the one girl
representative of every single dream that I’ve ever had,
it will forever be my wish
that you had.

#256                                     11-24-07

Assembled Thought

We, as humans, remain
the sophistication of nature,
with language and rhyme,
logic and rhetoric,
things that no other species have developed
(or so it is thought).
But with sophistication comes complexity,
inconsistency entwined with confusion,
leaving souls without direction
often questioning the meaning of existence:
“Why are we here?”
“What is the meaning of life?”
With our ability to feel comes our emotion,
with our emotion comes passion,
with passion comes violence,
with violence comes warfare,
with warfare comes tragedy.
Through the generations,
a glorious fallacy has been passed,
that humans should one day
be at peace with the world,
find no fault in government or society.
Yet progress toward this goal seems stalled,
as everyday heroes become more sparse
and timeless tragedies
flood our minds
and flow through our souls like rivers.
Our greatest fear is that those closest to us
will turn into our worst enemies,
that secrets will be revealed
that will change opinions,
and that we will be forced
to be secretive ourselves
to avoid confrontation.
Yet our treasonous thoughts
will escape past our lashing tongues
and reveal those darkest secrets.
Things better left unsaid
will flow into unforgiving ears
with the slip of a tongue
and suddenly friendships will be lost,
relationships will be broken,
minds once at ease, now unsettled,
unnecessary questions now raised
with answers hidden in lies.
Instead of being considered repayment
for the lies and troubles we’ve endured,
personal triumphs are considered too-good-to-be-true,
considered to be the pinnacle of something
that will eventually fall off the edge of greatness
and back into the normalcy of everyday life.
The world is a garden,
beautiful flowers lining the edges,
hiding the thorny roses and the bramble bushes,
hiding poisonous fruit beckoning a hungry eye,
the traps set for unsuspecting life to fall into.
The butterflies indiscriminately flutter,
impervious to corruption and deception,
laughing at the moths
fated to follow the light
and to be consumed by it.
And in this garden
full of beauty and destruction,
The question remains;
Are you a butterfly,
or a moth?

#255                                                                11-13-07

A Love Like Fire (A Line Palindrome)

A love like fire,
a burning passion
runs deep in my soul,
a longing for returned desire
Without question.
When I look into your eyes
I see a flawless beauty.
Thoughts of you and I together consume me
in every waking moment.
When you are near
the fire rages inside me,
To say that I am in love,
it isn’t enough;
I know in this lonely heart that
I have to show you how I feel.
You must understand that
these feelings I have cannot merely be written.
Words cannot explain
how I long to hold you in my arms,
how I wish to fall asleep listening to your soft breathing,
how I wish to wake up to see a smile on your face.
I would like to spend a lifetime with you
rather than a single moment without you.
I love you as you are;
don’t change, don’t do anything different for me.
Just promise you’ll be the one to catch me
as I fall more and more in love with you.
Just promise you’ll be the one to catch me.
Don’t change, don’t do anything different for me;
I love you as you are.
Rather than a single moment without you,
I would like to spend a lifetime with you.
How I wish to wake up to see a smile on your face,
How I wish to fall asleep listening to your soft breathing,
how I long to hold you in my arms.
Words cannot explain;
These feelings I have cannot merely be written.
You must understand that
I have to show you how I feel.
I know in this lonely heart that
it isn’t enough
to say I am in love.
The fire rages inside me
when you are near.
In every waking moment
Thoughts of you and I together consume me.
I see a flawless beauty
when I look into your eyes.
Without question
a longing for returned desire
runs deep in my soul,
a burning passion,
a love like fire.

#254                                                          11-06-07

George Foreman (A Clerihew)

George Foreman;
perhaps he’s a has been.
But now he sells grills
to pay all his bills.

#253                                              11-06-07

The Magician’s New Act (A Villanelle)

It’s something they had never seen before,
a magician’s new act, the latest sensation.
But it was clear the audience certainly wanted more.

The audience had no idea what was in store
for them, as a wheeled box was pushed to its station.
It’s something they had never seen before.

The assistant stepped out onto the stage floor
as the box was opened, beckoning her to her next location.
But it was clear the audience certainly wanted more

by their fixated stares. The assistant stepped in, and the magician shut the door,
The audience whispered with anticipation
It’s something they had never seen before.

A puff of smoke, a sudden movement and a loud roar
and the box was gone, off to a new destination.
But it was clear the audience certainly wanted more

by their astounded faces and cheers for an encore,
the wild shouts and screams a clear sign of their elation.
It’s something they had never seen before,
but it was clear the audience certainly wanted more.

#252                                              11-06-07

Depression Compressed

The sun rises in the east,
but I feel no warmth.
I’m stuck on a train running out of track,
destined for failure.
I can see nothing around me,
only a blanket of black, hollow darkness
waiting to smother me.
A phone rings endlessly,
not because I can’t find it
but because I know what will be said
on the other end of the line.
I choke on the words I should have said
a million times
as the glass shatters.
A piece of this puzzle goes missing,
never to be found again.
The world turns into a white room
with no windows or doors,
and my thoughts scream inside my head.
Family and friends alike were shoved away,
or, at least, I pushed myself away from them.
All good things I had came to an end,
and now no one is, no one will ever be there
to catch me as I fall.
The liars and their lies have won,
their traps set to catch the fools
following their foolish hearts.
I’m a cornered animal,
a mother bear protecting her young.
I’m lost in a labyrinth,
asking questions with leprechauns for answers.
“Catch me if you can,” becomes the recurrent nightmare;
those little thieves steal my sanity
and then disappear into thin air.
The questions go unanswered
as I run out of energy, out of time.
The clock ticks its madness into my mind
and I lose myself in desperation.
The leaves fall off the trees,
the grass stops growing
and the sun sets in the west.
With the night comes the fear, the impending doom
a sword hanging above my head on a thread,
a noose settled loosely around my neck,
waiting patiently for the chair to be kicked out from under my feet
and for me to fall toward the end
where no one will be waiting to catch me.

#251                                               10-29-07