I miss you.
Not because we don’t talk,
but because I can’t see you.
Maybe our relationship wasn’t ever much more
than just being close friends,
maybe it was never meant to be anything more,
but I had hope for all those years that it could have been.
And the feelings flowed freely from my fleeting thoughts,
through the ink in my pen,
dispensed in scribbled handwriting scattered among notes
initially never intended for you to see.
You never would have seen them, either,
except that the feelings grew too strong,
until you were a part of me.
And a little piece of me died that day
when you said we couldn’t be,
and seeing you on graduation day hurt the most,
because it should have been the last time I would ever see you,
and I didn’t have enough time to get over the love I had.
Sure, senior year was never really much, a lot of waves and hi’s in the hallways,
but it still meant a lot to me
just to see you every day.
But high school passed,
and diplomas were handed out,
and my heart melted for the last time
when you smiled and said “Great speech” as you walked by,
and I thought that was the end of it all.
But I’ve seen you since.
Only once.
It was only a wave and a returned “Hey,”
just like it was in high school
but after six months of hardly talking and forgetting each other
I felt like that encounter deserved more,
some catching up that was never quite done.
Maybe it was because your boyfriend was there
and it would have been awkward to leave the area,
but it turned out awkward anyway.
I didn’t mean to stop talking to you
but I didn’t know how else to get over you.
But you still have a piece of my heart
whether you want it or not,
because you always come back to mind
when all else seems failed,
when I have nothing else to pull me through the toughest days.
When there is no other love left in my heart,
you come back and fill the empty hole,
just like this time,
just like every other time,
so, maybe next time we meet,
I’d like to sit down and have a chat,
rather than just a wave.
#259 12-23-07
