A desire, a need to feel you near me;
feelings escalate and I am smitten,
addicted, paralyzed by love’s poison,
pouring my heart out to you, wishing to be
free to love you unconditionally,
to trade a broken spirit for passion,
hollow love for unspoken affection,
merely a prisoner to your beauty.
As love manifests from a simple guise,
I conclude, through these memories of you,
that only a pure soul could give rise
to what I feel, staring into your eyes,
an insatiable passion coursing through
a lonely heart hoping to win its prize.
#262 02-18-08
Tuesday, February 19, 2008 at 2:16 am
great thoughts.
I always enjoy reading poetry.
Thanks, please visit again
Tuesday, February 19, 2008 at 1:51 pm
desire – well captured.
it took a while for this to form correctly. i tried to follow the Italian sonnet form along with the ten syllables per line, but i didn’t really use a meter, unless someone can pick a meter out of this.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008 at 8:05 pm
It’s so good I didn’t even notice the rhyme!
Good going!
you can thank Petrarch for this one, it’s a good ole’ Italian Sonnet: ABBAABBA CDCCDC. Thanks for visiting, hope you come back for more
Thursday, February 21, 2008 at 12:50 am
I’m impressed that you write Italian Sonnets. I’ve never tried that form before. It seems intimidating.
Nice emotional depth in this.
They may be intimidating, but i love sonnets, and especially Italian Sonnets, because i feel like i can refine during the process so that the first edit comes out better than a free verse poem of the same ideas would come out.
Thursday, February 21, 2008 at 7:57 pm
The beginning of love is an exciting time. You capture the hope well. I’m impressed with your ability to write an Italian sonnet!
Thanks. Though they certainly take time to form, i like writing sonnets because they seem more exquisite when i finally finish one, because i always seem to have to refine what i initially write down and find different words to rhyme and fit syllable restrictions and whatnot.
Thursday, February 21, 2008 at 10:05 pm
I really liked this one. It helped me recapture what I felt at the beginning of my most recent relationship. If this is happening to you now, I wish you better luck than I had. Keep up the great poeting!
Thanks for the wished luck.
Thanks for stopping by, i hope you will return again sometime.
Friday, February 22, 2008 at 6:07 am
love’s poison – yes it can seem like that sometimes…
Good use of the sonnet too.
Thanks. and thanks for stopping by
Friday, February 22, 2008 at 8:00 am
an excellent portrait of the aching desire of love… i never even noticed it was in form… and that to me is the ultimate compliment as i am not particularly a fan of formed poetry… this was lovely!!!!
i wonder if the readers are not seeing the form because the strict meter is missing and the rhymes don’t read like rhymes (as in, ’smitten’ and ‘poison’ don’t look like they rhyme, etc.. I guess is not a true sonnet because there isn’t a meter, but i can’t write in meter anyway, so this’ll have to do.
Friday, February 22, 2008 at 8:14 am
At one time I wrote structured poetry. Sonnets were a personal favorite. Yours has come out too well.
submerge
i usually don’t write structured poetry unless its a sonnet. so i’m glad this came out well.
your poem is also very nice. short and powerful. i believe i left a comment on your site about it
Friday, February 22, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Yes, great job here, very nicely put together.
Gracias.
Friday, February 22, 2008 at 8:08 pm
There’s a definite ‘little song’ here, but It’s more the words of the plea, than the form, that matter. Surely she can’t resist you?
i didn’t really write it to anyone. i had someone in mind but things aren’t working out, so i just kept this to myself (or, at least, she hasn’t seen it, or if she has, does not know its about her.)
Saturday, February 23, 2008 at 11:37 am
Wow! That’s passion.
I try. That is usually the goal, to show real, raw emotions.
Saturday, February 23, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Wonderfully readable and enjoyable – very nice!
Thanks, and thanks for stopping by.
Friday, March 7, 2008 at 11:52 pm
My favorite line was love’s poison. Those two words speak ten thousand.
Friday, September 5, 2008 at 12:20 am
its brilliant, and all your comments on the comments…i have lately been feeling that free verse isnt going to be working for me much longer and that i should try something a little more daunting…but, haha, its daunting. but it is nice to see someone doing it, a little more encouragement.
(www.loveisachoice.wordpress.com)